I am a notorious photo-taking fanatic. I love to have photos of everything. Every little moment. Every little detail. I don't need some deep psycho-analysis to know it's my way of holding onto all of the fleeting beautiful that I don't want to let go of.

But lately I'm finding myself in moments of such depth, that no photo is really going to capture it.

Like our night of music. I did take a picture. I suppose I could've taken a video. But nothing really could capture that moment, that feeling of being in the middle of my kitchen and hearing the voices and melodies of all those I love most pouring out beautiful worship. It was beyond visual documentation. All I could do was stop, be still, and soak it in.

Last night it happened again. You know that moment at the end of a movie when all the sudden the bliss the character has been seeking is just there? The camera focuses on two people and everything around them is in some kind of spinning motion, but there they are in perfect focus and happiness as strains of Coldplay start fading in and it just feels like this is it! This it what they've been waiting for. They've found the beauty.

Sitting around our dining room table wrapping up a night full of games and dancing to swing music around the kitchen sink.  An animal covered game board spread before us and piles of colorful game chips scattered around like confetti. Little girls in pajamas and my husband to lock eyes with as we try to help the game along.

The girls suddenly (as is usually the case) have reached the end of their game concentration. The silliness has hit. And the littlest girl is the most out of control of them all. Because I'm sure there's nothing more satisfying as the baby of the family than to evoke a good laugh out of everyone.

They giggled over nothing, and their giggling made them laugh more until they were just being crazy. Watching our girl who's about to be ten sink into hysteria with her seven and four year old sisters. The four year old has recently taken up the habit of putting her hands over her mouth when she laughs, which just makes her a thousand times more endearing to watch. Because her little hands really can't cover her big old laugh, and there she sits with her giant-missing-tooth-grin just laughing to the point of tears.

And we laugh too. Because they're just so funny and so beautiful, and I'm not sure about him, but for me it's the kind of laugh that's containing a well of tears. Because life can be so beautiful. I know we don't deserve one bit of it. And in knowing that I feel driven to cherish it fiercely. 

There was a moment when I thought about jumping up to grab the camera. I wanted to capture and be able to look back at all that laughter. 

But something stopped me. And I knew I just needed to be still and be in that moment. Not try desperately to grab a little piece of it to hold onto forever. But to let myself be immersed in it and savor it in all it's beauty. No photo could do it justice.

And even though I sit here the next day trying to secure it a place in my unreliable memory, it seems that I can't capture it with words either.

The beautiful gift of a heart so full it might burst. It's always fleeting. Only a moment to soak it in and then it's gone forever. There's nothing quite so amazing. 

We celebrated a special birthday this weekend. 

Little miss fancy turned seven years old, and was beyond thrilled when her long dreamed of gift came true.

Last week the girls and I started reading Little Susy's Six Birthdays. They are sweet stories written by one of my favorite authors.

The thing that caught my attention was a small part of the introduction. The author is speaking directly to the children who will be reading the stories and explaining how exciting Susy's six birthdays are. Then she says:

Sometimes little children don't live to spend six birthdays in this world. They go to heaven and spend them there….

Throughout all of the stories there is an underlying tone of joy and gratitude with each birthday that comes; another year that Susy's family has been given with her. The unspoken knowledge always being there that another year is not a guarantee.

These stories were written in the 1850's; a time I assume the mortality rate in infants and small children was quite high compared to now. It was not expected that you would see your children live to grow up. I can't quite wrap my brain around that.

But it's been there in my mind this last week, since we started reading, and since we were preparing to celebrate.

We've already had the joy of experiencing one seven year old. Now we get to do it again. What a privilege!

One I far too often take for granted. 

Much like my thoughts on my own birthdays, I'm feeling drawn with my girls to appreciate and savor the gift of another year.

And just because we've done 7 before, I don't want to take it for granted this time. Because this is our only time having this 7 year old.

Things I love about our 7 year old middle girl:

She loves to be silly. This can drive me completely crazy, but when I'm not being too serious it's a lot of fun.

She loves learning. She resists it because she thinks she can't do it, but with a little encouragement she can get to the point where she gets something, and she is so excited.

She likes picking out my clothes and inspecting my make-up.

She wants her hair fixed just like mine. The joys of a little girl who wants to be just like her mom! (I'm well aware this is a fleeting gift)

In spite of all of her attitude, she is very tender-hearted. Sympathetic to the smallest tragedies of life (like a dead praying mantis in the backyard).

She still has full, round little cheeks. 

She's so different than me. This can sometimes become a source of conflict, but I want it always to be an opportunity for me to grow in understanding and humility.

These seven years have been so wonderful. Sometimes I think she's quite grown up now. But sometimes for a moment I forget that she's my girl who I'm with every single day , dealing with all kinds of discipline and drama.

In those moments when I forget, all of the sudden I am mesmerized by this cute little girl in front of me. And I just want to squeeze her and hold her and relish her littleness before she decides she's all grown up.

That's the title Miss A kept using for our vacation to the land of cows.

Visiting my sister and her husband on their family cattle ranch is of course always an adventure.

I'm sure there's a lot I could say about it, but I thought I'd just give you pictures instead. 

The views are never-ending, and amazing. Everywhere you turn there's another beautiful glimpse of God's creation.

A long awaited and much anticipated reunion between best friends finally happened.

The view from my bedroom window.

Miss I was the early bird who got to try something no one else did.

Makes your back yard feel awfully small, doesn't it?

We hung out PW style and experienced our first branding. Interesting, entertaining, and completely unnerving all at once.

The girls broke in their new sunbonnets, a gift from Grammy.

We took the quads out to play in the sprinkler.

Had lots of time like this. (It looks so much more peaceful in a picture because you can't see the mosquitoes!)

And of course had our time around the campfire with marshmallows and a guitar.

It was a wonderful "adventure", and a sweet time with family. So thankful we have such a fun destination available for retreat!

Well, I have been exceptionally bad about posting this last month and I'm feeling the need to offer up a little summary of all the things I would have posted about before, if there was ever a spare moment of time to do so.

First on the list: Easter.

We did something new this year that I wanted to mention.

We studied Passover.

I had thought about doing it, but wasn't really making much of an effort to make sure it happened. Then, the week before Easter I happened to be reading in the book of Exodus and was completely blown away by the foreshadowing of Jesus that can be seen in the Israelites deliverance from Egypt.

It was so amazing to study this Jewish tradition and to see how beautifully it illustrates our redemption through Jesus. At the time there was so much I kept thinking I wanted to tell you about it, and now of course I can't remember. 

All I can say is that it gave an amazing beauty and depth to Jesus' crucifixion and resurrection that I had never seen before, and I honestly don't think I could ever separate Easter and Passover in my mind again.

As a sidenote, I spent my whole life (literally) completely perplexed as to why Charlton Heston's "The Ten Commandments" is always on tv on Easter. Now I know!

Next of course I have to offer you a beautiful picture of my little Dashwoods on Resurrection Sunday.

After the joys of celebrating had ended, we got to spend the week savoring daily life with Princess Darling around.

I refuse to let my mind wander to "Wouldn't it be wonderful if she lived here….". Best not to go there!

Towards the end of Princess Darling's visit we had a fun pre-Mother's Day family celebration, but I didn't take any pictures of that. (Are you shocked! Don't worry I'll just steal pictures from my mom.)

And then the visit was over and we were on to the next big thing.

Bringing a new sister-in-law into the family. 

Parties, rehearsals, food and more food….it was a full week that ended with us getting all dressed up for the big day. Very exciting!

The wedding was beautiful, the bride & groom were off to the beach, and we were exhausted.

But it wasn't over yet.

An afternoon spent with Great Grandma from Seattle who flew in for the wedding. Very special, even if we were all a little tired.

And the craziness wrapped up with a fabulous mother's day spent with much loved friends.

Hombre babysat, her husband took care of dinner, and we got sent off to the mall for luxury pedicures. A first for me, and a fun treat just sitting back and relaxing with a friend without any children climbing all over us! 

So obviously my "busy" has been an amazing, abundantly blessed kind of busy. And I have enjoyed it enormously. I am feeling ready for a little bit of slow though. Not too much, but maybe at least a day would be nice!