I’ve really been looking forward to my birthday this year.

When I’ve talked to friends about turning thirty, I tend to get one of two reactions. The ones who have been in their thirties for awhile say they don’t mind it at all and that it’s been fun. The ones who have yet to hit that milestone seem to look on it with a bit of dread. Because it’s so old.

Well, today I’m thirty.

And I’m so, so excited about it. Happy, thankful, thrilled, blessed, full of joy; all these emotions can be applied to the way I feel about turning thirty.

For those of you who remember my birthday thoughts from last year, I’m sure what I’m sharing today is no surprise.

But of course being the “thinker” that I am, I have to stop and reflect again this year.

There’s something more than just the gift of another year that has me feeling so full of gratitude over this birthday.

I’m going to drive you crazy by being a bit vague, but as I share a bit of something personal that’s just what I feel I need to do.

Early in my twenty-seventh year, I was hit with some very difficult circumstances. I’m not just throwing out a common cliché when I say it was the hardest thing I’ve ever dealt with. Have you ever been in a situation where everything, everything, your whole world feels as though it’s been shattered?

Well, that’s where I was. The details of why don’t really seem important to go into right now. I’ll just sum it up by saying it was a dark and trying season in my life. The first time in my life I truly understood what it means to be in despair.

I don’t know why, but during that time I remember having a very specific thought repeatedly: if I make it until I’m thirty it will be a miracle. Why that kept going through my mind I can’t really say. But it did. And I believed it with all of my heart. There was no real reason to believe my life would not continue for decades to come. But if the weight of sorrow and suffering crushing someone to the point of a loss of hope were able to steal someone’s life away, then I suppose mine was vulnerable.

It was an overwhelmingly difficult time in my life.

As each birthday has come these last couple of years, there’s been this little bolstering of hope. What if I made it? Maybe I could make it. I’m getting so close; I really want to get there.

And now, here I am.

Thirty.

A miracle.

Again, I’m not choosing my words here lightly. I purposefully and intentionally use that word. Because I know with all of my heart, soul, mind and strength that my arriving at this day is all by the hand of Jesus. And I want you to know that too. To know that no matter how things seem or how you feel, He is there. He is good. And He works all things in our lives for good.

I’m so excited to be thirty. For the first time I feel like a real true grown-up!

And if there’s one truth I know without any shadow of a doubt after three decades of life, it is this.

But Simon Peter answered Him, “Lord to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life. Also we have come to believe and know that you are the Christ, the Son of the living God.”
John 6:68-69