If you need an introduction, go read this.

Well, it's the eleventh! Time to report on all those deep thoughts you've been mulling over after reading chapter 3 of The Mission of Motherhood.

The undivided heart.

I'm not sure what I expected when I started reading this chapter, but what I didn't expect was the level of conviction I was going to encounter.

First, some points I loved:

Children do not accidentally become righteous leaders or emotionally healthy and productive adults–any more than seeds thrown randomly to the wind grow to be part of a thriving garden. Simply throwing children into a cultural tornado and hoping for the best gives them little chance of living up to their potential or coming out unharmed. Someone needs to take responsibility for their nurture, protection, nourishment, intellectual development, manners, recreation, personal needs, and spiritual development. Someone needs to commit time and energy into staying close to them as they grow, encouraging and correcting and teaching. (pg. 43)

and,

All houses have a design and a cost and a systematic way in which they must be built.  It we want to build strong homes, we must think ahead and do what is necessary to lay a strong, stable foundation. And then, as we build, we need to check our progress along the way, keeping our overall purpose in mind and making choices that keep our building on the right track. We must assess our choices honestly to determine whether they are helping or hindering what we are trying to do. (pg. 52)

I thought both of these were good little pieces of wisdom to focus on in this chapter.

Now the hard part…

How could I put all of me into my time at home if I was always thinking about a future time when I could escape the routine tasks of motherhood? 

….

the two conflicted drives of my heart stood out in stark contrast — my commitment to motherhood versus my lurking desire to have life my own way.

…

If I didn't commit myself wholeheartedly to the demands of motherhood, I would never be able to do my best, because my heart would always be somewhere else. (pg.44-45)

Here came whole-hearted conviction from a place I did not expect.

My unspoken, really, unacknowledged attitude has been this: "I am a stay-at-home. It's what I do. There is nothing else. So there is no risk of conflict between my being a mother and being something else."

Now obviously, we all know that just pure selfishness can be a hindrance to our mothering, as I woefully confessed recently.

But I'm not even talking about that now. The idol of self is a given, unfortunately. Only avoided by constant prayer.

The thing that came to my mind as I read all of the above words was different. Something I would never have called a vocation, but now realize I have treated as one.

I'm a home educator.

And in reading this chapter I realized the role of teacher in my life has become a rival of my role as mother.

I know all mothers are teachers. All mothers are called to teach their children, every single day. I absolutely believe that.

But for our family, as I (with the support and help of my husband) have taken on the privilege of sole responsibility for our children's academic education, my time with them has become divided. 

It's so important to me to educate them well. Not even according to someone else standards, but to my own. I want to be a good home-school mom.

But I know that in my efforts to ensure that I do this part well, other parts suffer. Priorities get jumbled out of their proper place. At the end of the day I comfort myself with the fact that school was accomplished, when I know that little personal time was spent in fostering my relationship with my girls.

So, where does that leave me?

Two things. Practically, I am really evaluating the way we do school. You can expect to hear more about that in the future here. My main focus being that as a home-schooler I have freedom in the way we do things. So how do I make education a part of our life, rather than fitting our life in around school.

And more importantly. It's not about eliminating everything to the extreme that all I have left is being a mother. That would be ridiculous. It's about priorities. In my mind, what is most important? Because that is what I will pour my heart into. My calling is to be their mother. Whatever various ways that works, that's fine. But when I evaluate myself it can't be solely on the grounds of am I teaching them well? It must be am I mothering them well?

As far as the reflection at the end of the chapter, I have to say that each of the verses listed and the questions that followed them really ministered to me. I encourage you to take the time to read them and reflect if you haven't yet.

A brief little summary of thoughts they sparked for me:

Proverbs 14:1… Maybe the foolish woman isn't all out to destroy her house. Maybe she's just trying to build her house all in her own strength and with her own wisdom, instead of relying on the Lord.

Matthew 6:20,33 … If all we give our children is Jesus, we will be giving them a treasure that can never be taken away. Anything else we offer them could be ripped away in an instant. But not Jesus and His love.

Galatians 6:7 … More will be "sown" into our children's lives by our actions than by anything we say.

Romans 12:1-2 … The need for our minds to be renewed is daily. Only in contrast to God's truth can we see the ways we are drifting astray.

Don't be surprised if you see a few posts soon focused on these verses. I really felt like each one impacted my thinking in a huge way.

Well, that's all for me today.  Please, share your thoughts in the comments or leave a link in the comments if you want to share on your blog. Even if you haven't been reading the book, and just have thoughts on what I've shared, please speak up. I'd love to hear what you think. 

Next month's assignment: Chapter 4 The Servant Mother