"No gift unrecognized as coming from God is at its own best: therefore many things that God would gladly give us, things even that we need because we are, must wait until we ask for them, that we may know whence they come: when in all gifts we find Him, then in Him we shall find all things."
-George MacDonald

Hombre has been talking for a few months about the dream destination he had in mind for a summer vacation.

An exciting place, home to some dear friends of ours; it would be a perfect vacation for the whole family!  That's what he said.

I on the other hand (always the bucket of cold water) saw him planning a vacation at a time when we hadn't planned on taking a vacation, with money that he must have been imagining to pay for it, AND18 hours of driving (one way) with three wild little girls in the backseat. 

I mentioned all of these things, but he would not be deterred.  

So he kept saying things like "We're planning on going to Austin this summer,"  and "I think we're gonna be going to Austin for a vacation."

My talk about it was slightly different: "Well, he wants to go to Austin, but we weren't really planning a vacation so…" or "We're talking about going to Austin, but I really don't think it's going to work out."

Before you make a rash judgement about me, let me just clarify: I am NOT a total jerk.  

I'm just an overly skeptical realist who can't handle disappointment, so I tend to predict the most drab scenario.

Just so you know.

Anyway, a couple of weeks ago, on a slow Sunday afternoon I said, "Okay, I can't handle all the talk anymore, we need to just figure out if we are going or not."

So we sat down together and wrote out a budget for the trip.  I tried to keep my mouth shut and just let him discover the truth for himself.  

And he did.

We just didn't have enough money.  

We had some, but it wouldn't be enough.  Not unless we were going to sit on the streets of Austin and beg for meals because all of our funds had to pay for gas.

So I didn't  say anything, and after some quiet he said, "I guess we can't go."

He was so sad.

And much to my surprise, so was I.

All of my resistance to getting interested in the idea had not worked, and I realized he really had convinced me it could be a wonderful vacation.  And now we couldn't go.

So we both went on with our day, pouting a little here and there, but accepting the truth.

At least I was accepting the truth.

That night I realized he had not given up.

We were praying before bed, and right at the end, when I would be thanking God for all of the abundant blessings in our life,  he decided to go a different route.  

Something along the lines of "If there's any way that we could go on this trip, God please provide the funds."

I quickly cut him off and let him know with no uncertainty that it is not okay to ask for things like that.

Asking God for a vacation? Really? You just don't do that. We don't need a vacation.  

I was sure he needed to repent, but he just told me to chill out and he could ask for a vacation if he wanted to.

Monday he went back to work and I went about my day fully confident that we would not be going anywhere this summer.  

That afternoon while the girls were napping, I was enjoying a much anticipated conversation on the phone with a dear friend, hearing all about her newest arrival. (Who doesn't love a good birth story, right?)

I mindlessly sorted through the mail as I soaked up every detail of her story.  

Junk mail… More Junk mail… Hombre's paycheck came.

Tear it open, so I can toss it in my purse for the bank.

Two checks fall out of the envelope.

The paycheck, and another check for almost double the amount we needed for our vacation.

I just stared.

And then quickly tossed it aside and walked away because I was listening to the BIRTH STORY!! How dare I be distracted! ( I promise it was only a second Jennee.)

We finished our conversation and I kind of forgot about the check until I had been off the phone for awhile.

But as soon as I remembered I raced to my phone and sent a text to Hombre at work: were you expecting a reimbursement or something? 

His response: No. Why?

I took a picture of the check on my phone and sent it. 

Only seconds later a response came: We're going to Austin!!!!

A bonus check shows up in the mail the day after he asks for a vacation. Really?

Obviously the check was already on it's way.  

But how amazing it is to ask and so obviously receive. I don't think the timing was a coincidence.  I think it was an answer.

So I'm fighting the urge to pick up another bucket of cold water, and expect illness or some unforeseen expense to come and take away our vacation.  Obviously all of my avoidance of excitement really doesn't shelter me from disappointment as much as I would like.

And I'm resisting the guilt over the fun of a summer vacation to look forward to, when so many I know will not be enjoying the same.

When difficulties come and are overwhelming to bare we say "God knows what we need, we will trust Him."

So when blessings come and I hesitate to embrace them I will say "God knows what we need, and I will trust Him."

I'm so glad I have a husband who's bold enough to ask for a vacation.