For Today… November 16,2009

Outside my window… dogs are barking and the air is cold. 

I am thinking… of words to a song that I haven’t heard in years….just came into my mind out of nowhere

Rest easy
Have no fear
I love you perfectly
Love drives out fear
I’ll take your burden
You take My grace
Rest easy in My embrace
 

From the learning rooms…   wrapping up the units we’ve been working on so we are free to devote all of next week to Thanksgiving learning fun.  I requested a stack of books and videos from the library and think it will be fun to just do our own little holiday unit study.

I’m thankful for… the amazing way that God meets our needs.  And the truth that God’s been impressing on my heart lately:

“When we trust, the Lord works, and a great deal is done– not by us, but by Him.  Actual results are reached by our trusting, because our Lord undertakes the thing trusted to Him, and accomplishes it. …Our part is the trusting.  It is His part to accomplish the results.” ~Hannah Whitall Smith

From the kitchen… over the weekend the girls and I baked zucchini bread and blueberry muffins using the fabulous agave nectar.  My analysis: it definitely affects the look/texture a bit, and more bothersome to me it affects the smell, but once I got past those things, I really didn’t notice a huge difference in taste.  I think it’s probably worth it to use it in baking that is intended for meals and snacks.  But I probably wouldn’t bother with it in actual desserts, because it does make things taste a bit health-foody.  The girls gobbled it up though, so that’s a good thing!

I am wearing… flannel pajama pants and a green Five Iron Frenzy t-shirt that says “Billy” across the back.  I bought it when I was 16… (wow, my shirt is 12 years old. that’s weird) because I had a crush on a boy named Billy who had joined the Navy and I missed him.  Hombre loves to make fun of me for this.

I am reading…  anything I can find that tells me how to give us all immune systems of steel so winter does not equal isolated and ill for our family.

 I am creating…  making progress on the Christmas projects.  And I’ve decided I want to make the girls ornaments this year (we have a tradition of a new ornament every Christmas).  Any ideas?? 

I am hearing… Hombre’s video game.  Not my favorite sound.  But that’s okay.

 Around the house… the laundry has overtaken me again.  It’s not that there’s so much to be done, it’s that there’s so much that needs to be put away.

A few plans for the rest of the week… at this time of year I feel the need to preface all plans with “if nobody gets sick…” , we are decorating gingerbread houses with the homeschool group tomorrow.  The girls love this.  Then a Thanksgiving show and tell on Friday.  Should be fun! 

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Made for Each Other
(I love the carrots!)

The Lost Rule of Organizing
(my new method)

A Drop can Bounce
(for fun)

Tips to a Better Toddler
(thinking about trying this out)

Reflecting Back
(I love the perspective that comes with time)

Interruptions
(just good. )

We are entering a new phase in our family.  Like all changes, there’s excitement, but also a little sadness.  It’s hard to let go of a sweet thing. 

But life is full of change!

And you’re probably wondering what I’m talking about.

For the first time since our first girl was born almost eight years ago, the youngest child in our house is two and a half years old.

That might not sound like such a big deal.  But it really is a big change.

Miss A was two and a half to the day when Miss E came along…

Without a doubt, the transition from one to two children was the hardest for me.  I had never experienced such chaos before.

They were really cute though.

Miss E was two years, seven months when Miss I joined us.

She thought that baby was all for her!

And now, still, Miss I is the baby.  It’s so crazy.

Talking my ear off, asking me things like “why not?”, using the potty and playing dress-up.

She’s really not much of a baby.

After seven and a half years of babies, I now have a house full of big girls.  It is a little bit sad, but I’m excited.  My goal is to fully enjoy my season of big girls…

How do you feel about the “seasons” of raising children?

About a year ago I sat in church on a Wednesday.  Trying to stay awake after a long day… little did I know how my world would change that night.  The pastor was talking about our perceptions of things, and how much they affect our lives.  How if our perception was changed it could change everything.

He gave a list of “what if…was different than you think?” scenarios.

I can still hear the one that caught my attention loud and clear…

“What if God loves you more than you can possibly imagine?”

The tears came instantly, as I contempletated that question.  What if He does?  What if, subconciously, I’ve always lived with this picture of God as someone to be feared.  He’ll save me from my sins because He loves me, but I’ll have to pay in the meantime. 

I never in my life would’ve articulated this as how I viewed God, but in that moment, I knew I’d been carrying that burdened view of Him for a long time.

But what if He does love me more than I can possibly imagine?

That changes everything.

And it has.  Over the last year God has been teaching me so much about His love for me.  Showing me all the ways I had put His love in a box and tied it to a million conditions.  Teaching me that’s not what He wants to give me.  He wants to give me so much more than that. 

Slowly, I’m learning to recieve it.

There are times when I don’t feel God’s love.  It seems remote, surreal, distant.

But if I set my feelings aside and look, it’s absolutely there.  How I feel, and the circumstances that surround me skew my view of Him, but if I push all of that out of the way and just look straight at Him, I know His love is real.

And sometimes His love feels more real to me than anything I can see.  And nothing can touch me or shake me because I am loved by Him.  Those are the moments I live for. 

But in the moments when I’m not feeling it, I make myself stop and look.  I see and know, YES, He loves me.  And His love is the greatest thing.

These words have been running through my mind all week.  When I embrace them and really soak up the absolute truth of them, everything else just fades away.  And it’s wonderful!