Sometimes, little changes that are meant to be temporary end up leading to bigger changes than you anticipated. 

Like bringing a sick, crying toddler into your bed, because you are having a bad night, and you and your husband are both so tired, and no one in the house has the emotional energy to listen to her crying.

As usual, the illness carries on for several days, necessitating several nights in your bed.  Before you know it, you’ve got a kid who knows what she wants and will absolutely not be deterrred from getting it.  She wants your bed.  But that’s not all.

She wants space.  At no time while in your bed does she want to be touched by you, your husband, a blanket, pillow or anything else.  So you and your husband end up sharing half of the bed while she has the other half. 

But she’s still not totally content.  Because sleeping on a big bed is only fulfilling if you sleep in a completely horizontal position.  Which of course leads to little girl feet in your face. 

But wait! She’s not supposed to be touched!  So she kicks at your face until it is out of her way and you cling to your husband to try to get away and he clings to the edge of the bed trying to keep both of you from being on the floor…. and before you know it, a couple of months have passed and you are just TIRED of being tired.

It seems simple right.  Little girl goes back to her own bed.  Everyone has their space and gets a good night’s sleep.  Yeah.  Except little girl no longer wants her bed.  And after three hours of the most outrageous screaming you’ve ever heard, you’re not really sure if you want her bed bad enough to hold out.  There is no end in sight.  She doesn’t wear down.  There is no escape.

Until your husband has a brilliant plan!  A bed on the floor of your room.  Maybe that will do the trick.

And….miraculously, it does.  Little girl is happy.  You and your husband can breathe again.  And all those rules you had about children’s sleep habits just really don’t matter anymore.  In the grand scheme of things, it just doesn’t really feel important where your daughter slept when she was 21 months old.  If everybody gets to sleep comfortably and nobody has to cry, then honestly, who cares?

And when you look at her little face and feel guilty that maybe you’re not teaching her the best skills for a disciplined life, you find comfort in the fact that maybe all together as a family you’re learning a little bit about compromise.  That’s pretty important too.