I had a little help with dinner last night.  It was fun.  It took a bit longer, but nobody starved. 

I’ve been thinking a lot lately about the kind of mom I thought I would be before I had kids, and the kind of mom I am now that they’re here.

There were a lot of things I didn’t know then.  I had no idea how messy it would be.  I didn’t picture them doing things in a disorderly way.  I never gave much thought to whining, fighting or talking back.  I just had this rosy picture of all the fun we could have, and didn’t see the rest. 

But now that I’m here, with my kids, it seems to be the reverse.  ALL I can see is the mess, the complications, the meltdowns, and that rosy picture has become some distant memory. I’m not sure how I got here from there, but lately it’s been really hitting me…this is NOT where I want to be.

I’ve always known I’m too obsessive. Too controlling.  To wrapped up in keeping everything perfect at all times.  But I’ve been realizing lately how much I’m missing.

I know things have to be done.  The dishes can’t wait forever, and the laundry REALLY can’t wait forever, and if we don’t pick up the toys now and then pretty soon there will be nowhere in the entire house we can walk.

A few months ago this verse came up at ladies’ Bible study:

And Jesus answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and troubled about many things.  But one thing is needed, and Mary has chosen that good part, which will not be taken away from her.”   
~Luke 10:41-42

I’ve read this story a hundred times, and I’ve known all along that I’m just like Martha, and that Mary chose the good thing.  That’s great.  But what really struck me when reading it this time was the last part: that good part,…..WHICH WILL NOT BE TAKEN AWAY FROM HER.  That’s what the big deal is.  There are lots of good things to be chosen, but how many of them can’t ever be taken away from you.

How much of our weariness is related to chasing
after things wholly unrelated to glorifying God?”
~Jane Bentley

I didn’t want to answer that question when I read it.  Because I would have to say probably all of it.  All of what keeps me SO busy is pretty much made up in my own head.  It’s fine to be busy, but busy and never content is totally different. 

My busyness is related to all of the things I want to be done all the time, and my happiness/contentment/peace is also linked to those things.  And what happens when we choose good things that aren’t Jesus: they can be taken away from us.  My good things, like a clean house, with all of the laundry done and all of the dishes washed and everything in it’s place at all times gets taken away from me EVERY DAY, usually several times a day.  So why do I cling to it so desperately?  As long as I put it first I will never be happy.

Sorry if I’m rambling, it’s late and my thoughts are kind of scattered.  The obvious point is God needs to come first.  For me this is meaning something a little deeper.   Putting Him first has to carry over into my everyday life…and the good things I’m choosing.

Lately it’s become clear to me that I need to RELAX, and stop focusing so much on the hard stuff.  I don’t ever enjoy anthing because I just see all the negatives (sometimes real, sometimes imagined) surrounding it.  I want to have joy in my life, and I want my little girls to grow up with happy memories.  They can have those forever.

I saw an older man not too long ago whose wife had passed away recently, and I found myself thinking about things like how hard it must be for him having to take care of the house and his meals, etc., thinking about how much he must miss her.  But then it hit me; he probably doesn’t miss the things she did… he probably just misses HER, being there, to talk to, to share life with.

I don’t want to be gone one day and the only thing that makes people notice my absence is that the house is dusty.

So I’m trying to slow down.  Take time to relax.  Enjoy my girls, enjoy my family and friends, just LIVE life, instead of working so hard to keep life under control.  Because it will be over all too quickly.  And my little girls will be grown up SO SOON.  I want to just have fun with them, and let them be little as long as they can.

Life is too short and too much time is wasted on things that don’t matter. Jim Elliot once said

Wherever you are be all there.  Live to the hilt every
situation you believe to be the will of God.

What a peace it would bring to die knowing that in every situation you chose the best thing…the thing that was pleasing to God and in turn blessed other people. 

I know it’s the will of God for me to be a mom to three crazy little girls, and I want to enjoy it, to really savor every moment with them.  Because even though time will pass quickly, and those moments will be gone, the joy of having lived them is something that can’t be taken away.  It’s a gift.  I don’t want to be so busy that I miss it.

Every good gift and every perfect gift is from above, and comes down from the Father of ligths…
~James 1 :17

I’ve had some really “deep” thoughts lately that I keep meaning to share, but by the end of the day when everyone is finally in bed, I’m just too tired to think.  Kind of like Miss E in this picture.  I think Miss I gave her a few good whacks, but she never even budged. 

Hopefully I’ll get a burst of engergy soon and really write something, since that was kind of the purpose of all of this.  Try to stick around;)

Thanks to Angelina Ballerina my girls have become obsessed with show and tell.  So we decided to try out having our own show and tell, and invited a few friends.

Miss A was very concerned that we were not doing it at a school with desks, so I tried to explain that when you are homeschooled, you do things at home instead of school.  This wasn’t really the answer she was looking for and she continued to go on about needing desks pretty much until our friends were at the door.  Then, luckily,  she forgot.

My goal in hosting show and tell was that the kids would get an opportunity to stand up and talk in front of others, but also (more importantly) an opportunity to sit quietly and listen to others.  I was a little skeptical as to how well it woud go, but it was great.

The kids were SO into it.  They all brought toys of course, and all just wanted to keep talking even when they didn’t really have anything left to say.  Sadly I didn’t think to take any pictures while they were doing it. Oh well. 

Everybody brought their lunch (another exciting thing to do when you’re homeschooled and don’t do that everyday), so they had fun eating outside and then playing for awhile.  A very successful day:)

So, my dearest friend and I had our third babies three weeks apart.   We always wanted to have babies together and this was my last so it was our only shot; amazingly we pulled it off without any planning;0

Anyway, these are our girls, Miss I of course and Miss J is the one with white hair.  Aren’t they precious?  Beautiful, sweet, angelic little girls.  I love that mine is so dark and hers is so fair because it makes them look so glamorous together.  Don’t they just look like little dolls?  Their moms are best friends so they can be best friends.  It’s PERFECT! Right?

Uh, NO!  They are COMPLETE PSYCHOS.  Miss I of course doesn’t like ANYONE, so she especially doesn’t want anything to do with Miss J.  The only reason we got this awesome picture of them is because they were in front of the TV.  When we tried to set them down next to eachother looking at the camera they both started screaming like their lives were over.  There is nothing angelic about either of these girls and I know my dearest friend won’t mind me saying so.

But this is my thought: maybe it’s not their fault.  They were born into COMPLETELY different families and they have TOTALLY DIFFERENT personalities, and yet, they are BOTH CRAZY.  Maybe it’s beyond their control.  I’ve decided to call it the Third Child Syndrome.

I just read this a few days ago, basically talking about how you build a cradle made of gold for your first baby and by the time the third one comes around you just toss them on a pile of laundry and hope no one sits on them. (Not really, but you know what I mean.)

My dearest friend and I are VERY different as moms, so the fact that our babies have the same obnoxious problems only goes to prove that it’s NOT THE BABY, it’s that nasty old birth order.

If you have a third child, I’m sure you can relate.  My first child didn’t try to hit me until about six months ago, my second, probably around two and a half, but the third child….pretty much as soon as she discoverd she had arms, the swinging began.  She climbs everything, she demands everything, she throws crazy fits anytime she doesn’t get what she wants… it’s just unbelievable. And Miss J is just the same; she got mad and screamed today and I swear I thought it was a four year old.  It would be one thing if we could blame it on “the terrible twos” but they both just had their first birthdays so…

MAYBE, we both just happened to have very tempermental babies at the same time, and maybe they both just happened to be third children.  But I doubt it.  I think they were doomed from conception to be terrors.  And all you can do is grin and bear it because they’re adorable, and there will always be older siblings around to make them look little, sweet and adorable. 

So just keep this in mind if you are contemplating a third child; there will be fun.  But there will also be more tantrums that you thought any human child was capable of.

I think my dearest friend and I will just try to focus on what they were like before the syndrome started to take effect!